Hi mummas, I was going to post as I was very sure about our decision. But I wanted some opinions of other people to see I am not being unreasonable, or if I am !?
Bit of background:
Child is 10 yrs old (girl).
Dad lives in Melbourne and has done for 8 years.
Weekly FaceTime calls of an hour or so on a regular night to make it locked in.
Few visits a year, child flies there and dad comes over, depending.
My daughter uses my phone when she FaceTimes. They occasionally send texts and she replies no issues.
The dad has asked if he can buy her a phone, no apps or internet- purely just so she can contact him more freely.
We have quite a strict technology rule in our house : children don't have own devices and limited screen time etc.
I do not see a need for our daughter to have her own phone when there are no restrictions to her using mine whenever she requests (which is hardly ever) to contact him. I have always told her she can call him whenever and even on occasions when she has mentioned him I have suggested she rings or text him. I would never stand in the way of their relationship.
I do not want her to have a device. She doesn't need it and I think she is too young for it. Each family to their own, this is our beliefs.
He is very upset and feels like I'm not considering his input. But I don't understand why it is necessary.
I have spoken to my daughter about it and said that he wants to buy her a phone but this is my household and my rules and she knows the rules on device time. I reinforced that she can use my phone whenever she wants to contact him, call or text or send a photo. Anytime. He is her dad and she is free to contact him. And she said she knows she can do that and ask anytime and says it's never been an issue.
But he still think I'm being unreasonable.
I always make every decision in her best interest. And her getting a phone is not a necessity. Her having access to contact her dad is important. But that is not compromised by her not having her own device.
I just want people's thoughts, right or wrong, agreeing or disagreeing, just to understand more broadly my decision is fair.